Born to Blossom

Discovery!!!

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 23:07:08 GMT

yea well so, ive discovered LJ again thru a little birdy and some other things, im still with my myspace(http://www.myspace.com/35211495) - mine, hehe,thats if u'd like to know more about moi if u are so inclined

Umm, ill probably be on there more then here, im only here for certain reasons, as u can tell its been over a year since ive been on here, ah well.

well im done here, c uz on the flipside

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 05:14:01 GMT

man, this day sucked major!

i felt angry all day long. Mostly from my grams being a complainer, and my brother always getting everything and my mom assuming things to much and then when she says what she thinks about you, she says it really harsh.

And i felt like shit yesterday too, i was angry, stressed, and confused, from a few different things. But i got happy when carrie told me that her dad could take us to the movies monday, and that we could hang out. We're going to see the Meet the Fockers with ben and chris, i don't really want to see the movie, but oh well...

did i mention i hate being me. i wish i was still that skinny cute looking girl i was at age 6 or 8 or 11 or 13, but now, i'm just a fat blop, i feel like i changed alot and i mean alot, as in personality, looks, and feelings, and i don't like it, i can actually say i hate growing up. way to many resonsiblities, and rules and concerns and problems, i could scream! i just want a simple, laid back with no worries, or horrible dumbass people to bug the hell out of ya.

ugh, well, tomorrow i'm going to my brothers little party thing, i guess i'll have fun, but then i gotta come home and vaccum and work on bio and then,clean my room, cause you can't even tell that theres a bed or rug in there.

oh and i found out my IQ is 125, thats above average, which is 85 to 114, i feel smart now and my intellect part of me is writing and creativity, yay for me,lol.

word up to ya mama's

fav phrase now; " I love you, wait for me..."- anakin skywalker, RotS

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 23:07:51 GMT

man, i feel downish for some reason, i have been for about 3 days

hmmm, i haven't updated for a long while and now i don't know what to say, let me think........

ok, i have some stuff. I feel like, stupid, i thought tennis wasn't a spring sport at ND, and it is, and its too late to sign up, so i'm thinking of signing up at a place for memebership of some sort. Also, theres all this crappy shit going on at school with chris 1 and chris 2 those 2 are unpredictable, and i hate it. They are driving me over the edge one day and the next its like, "oh hi, glad ur here" type of thing, ugh. i've been feeling down cause i think i'm boring, idk, i've been asking alot of ppl and they say i'm not. i think i'm boring, ugly and fat, but thats me, idk what other ppl think of me, i wish i could get inside their minds and find out...

this past weekend was good tho. I went to my cousins and grace, kevin, mary, sam, becca and joe were all there, i love those guys they're so crazy and disoriented. They are the best family someone could have, they're keep you excited and pumped up and one your toes for me. But becca has like a mean streak in her and a bit of an arrogant, selfish one too. she needs to take a chill pill and relaz sometimes and sam well, shes gotta like, idk, stop being a brat and violent. grace and kev and mary are good in my book. But i'll stop braging about my so-awesome-better-then-your-family thing, j/k, lol

my valentines was good, i got candy, flowers and a very cool bear.
this sat. i'm hoping to do summin with cait,and monday with carrie and whoever else is involved. I got to try that new sprite remix, its ok.

oh yea, omg, i've been like obesseing over starwars, the revenge of the sith, omg, i feel like such a 'tard. ugh, and because my hottie lover hayden christensen is in makes the obession even worse,lol, *swoon* hes so fine. but i think i found this new guy at school whos almost, ket word, almost, as hott as hayden, hehe.

ok, better go wish my bro a happy 19th b-day, man hes old!,lol

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 02:21:13 GMT

hey all, my weekend went so awesome!!!!

i went to some fancy club dining place with some of my moms friends, there were 5 of them, lisa and chris, those two are awesome ppl, and john and bonnie, great ppl and lisa's mom, shes very nice. I felt like i was at some rich place and i felt out of place cause its not like i'm really rich, it also felt like i was on like, idk the titanic, lol.

Then today i went to lisa and chris's house with a whole bunch of ppl there partying and watching the Superbowl, i hope the eagles win. and i also went bowling with heather today, and i sucked major,lol, but i had fun. So this weekend was busy and next weekend mite be too and the next one after that again,lol. Next weekend i'm going to visit my cousin at her new house along with a few of my other fav coz's and my aunt.

oh well, i think i'm getting a throat infection, damn....maybe i can stay home from skool, hehe, if i feel worst enough.

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 23:09:55 GMT

hey there all, i haven't updated in a long while cause i'm seriously pissed at this lj, it never works for me god damnit!

but just to make up for that i answer 347 question about me for you all to read and have fun with,lol

Y 0 U
[ .01. ] first name: Erin-Lynn
[ .02. ] middle name: Frances
[ .03. ] last name: no comment, but my last name is Irish
[ .04. ] nickname(s) umm, Erin I guess, and ELF, homie E and ‘hey ugly move’
[ .05. ] gender: female
[ .06. ] birthday: Jan 5, 89
[ .07. ] height: 5’3
[ .08. ] hair color: dark brown, though its dyed rite now, so the real color is kind of light brownish/blondish
[ .09. ] eye color: hazel
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: glasses, sometimes, I want contacts
[ .011. ] do you have braces: no
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: short
[ .013. ] where were you born: Louisiana
[ .014. ] current location: PA
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: Capricorn
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know: 2, but I’m not very good at French
[ .017. ] what language do you want to learn: I don’t really want to learn any other
[ .018. ] bad habits: leaving my stuff laying around, procrastinator
[ .019. ] piercing you have: on my ears, 6 of them
[ .020. ] piercing you want: maybe my nose
.021. ] Tattoos you have: none, I might want one
[ .023. ] today: Friday
[ .024. ] today's date: 4^th of Feb.
[ .025. ] the time: 11:18pm
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: sure
F A M i L Y
[ .027. ] mother's name: Elizabeth
[ .028. ] father's name: Matthew
[ .029. ] brother's name: Tristan
[ .030. ] sister's name: I have step sisters; bobby, and terra
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: aunt Ruth (she’s rich ,hehe)
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: uncle….idk my uncles names, have a lot, but I don’t know many of them, but I think I like my Uncle Frank
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: my grams Clara .036. ] Worst relative: uncle Joe
[.037.] best relative: cousin grace
[.038.] do you get along with your parents: yes basically, but there are still some issues to work out
[.039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: yea actually, sometimes
P E T S
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: yes
[ .041. ] what are their names: cookie, stripes, Leo, and some fish
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: (in order from last question) dog, cat, teddy bear hamster
S C H 0 0 L
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yep
[ .044. ] did you drop out: …..No….
[.045.] Current gpa: how the fuck should I know
[.046.] favorite grade: ….Skool sucks
[.047.] least favorite grade: all of them
[.048. ] favorite teacher: umm Mrs. vansavage
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: ms. Rogers
[ .050. ] favorite subject: hell, there are none, not even lunch [ .51. ] least favorite subject: all
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: sometimes I buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: yes, tennis
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: dance
[ .055. ] are/was you popular: HAHAHAH, me popular!?, whoa, that’s funny!…..
[.056.] Favorite dance: umm, well, as in type of dance, jazz
[.057.] favorite memory: Disney world
[.058. ] favorite memory you want to have: umm, getting all A’s on my report card and being successful at dance( I know, corny, but who cares)
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: umm, starting freshmen yr
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: umm, there’s to many
F A V 0 R i T E S
[ .061. ] number: 22
[ .062. ] letter: don’t have one
[ .063. ] shoes: any kind
[ .064. ] saying(s): up yours
[ .065. ] TV show: Charmed, Inuyasha, Full mental Alchemist, Family Guy, Will and Grace, Ghost in the Shell
[ .066. ] sport: Tennis
[ .067. ] vegetable: carrots
[ .068. ] fruit: grapes or pears
[ .069. ] movie: there’s WAY to many movies, but I love all I see and own
[ .070. ] magazine: Twist, YM
[ .071. ] actor: Hayden Christensen
[ .072. ] actress: Natalie Portman
[ .073. ] candy: any type

[ .074. ] gum: winterfresh, I think
[ .075. ] scent: moonlight path
[ .076. ] candy bar: idk
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: chocolate brownie with chunks
[ .078. ] color: purple or red right now
[ .079. ] season: summer, sometimes fall
[ .080. ] holiday: Christmas
[ .081. ] band: ummm, Good Charlotte, and The Killers
[ .082. ] singer: umm, a lot, Jessica Simpson Gwen Stefani, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary duff, Britney spears, Fefe Dobson, Sting, Stacie Orrico, raven
[ .083. ] group: Good Charlotte or Linkin park
[ .084. ] rapper: depends my mood
[ .085. ] type of music: any type
[ .086. ] thing in your room: umm, my prized wall of Jessica Simpson, hehe
[ .087. ] place to be: with my bff, or mall with my bff or just with close friends
[ .089. ] TV channel: idk, depends what’s on
[ .090. ] junk food: cakes and cupcakes, brownies, list goes on
[ .091. ] overall food: junk food I love
[ .092. ] store: Walgreen’s
[ .093. ] hangout: mall, friends houses
[ .094. ] fast food: Arby’s
[ .095. ] restaurant: Ruby Tuesday
[ .096. ] shape: idk, star I guess
[ .097. ] time of day: light
[ .098. ] country: Ireland, England or Japan
[ .099. ] state: California or Florida, or umm, idk
[ .100. ] boys name: Hayden, William, James, Christian, Jack, Andrew, Robbie, Daniel, Adam, Connor, Harry, Sebastian, Brodie
[ .101. ] girls name: Annalesse, Grace, Lynn, Clara, Rose, Jessica, Arura, Anastasia, Natalie, Ella, Maddison, Piper, Paige, Anna,
[ .102. ] mall: any mall
[ .103. ] video game: idk
[ .104. ] shampoo: as long as it smells good
[ .105. ] board game: idk, Disney monopoly I guess or poker
[ .106. ] computer game: Harry Potter
[ .107. ] car: if it looks good and its not a small stupid card
[ .108. ] music video: idk, don’t care
[ .109. ] swear word: shithead or fuck, dumbass
[ .110. ] word: whatever
[ .111. ] month: April
[ .112. ] cartoon character: spongebob squarepants
[ .113. ] scary movie: white noise, scream, the grudge, the village
[ .114. ] team: hate sports basically, except tennis
[ .115. ] possession: umm, a bed to sleep in, but tons of other things too
WHATS THE FiRST THiNG Y0U TH0UGHT 0F WHEN Y0U HEAR..
[ .116. ] Eminem: angry/wacked
[ .117. ] dog: happy
[ .118. ] hot: ow
[ .119. ] Britney spear: *laughs* she’s entertaining I would have to say
[ .120. ] nsync: alrite I guess
[ .121. ] real world: STUPID SHOW
[ .122. ] orange: yummy
[ .123. ] choice: freedom
[ .124. ] f*ck: everyone
[ .125. ] bisexual: ummm, I don’t care

[ .126. ] Black: goes good with every color, or evil, or a shade
[ .127. ] ICQ: wtf
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: ???Wtf
[ .129. ] linkin park: loud
[ .130. ] jack: titanic (movie) lol
[ .131. ] rainbow: gay
[ .133. ] cucumber: greeny
[ .134. ] shark: ocean
[ .135. ] lifehouse: a music group
[ .136. ] bat: scary or vampire
[ .137. ] leather: ugly
[ .138. ] whip: ouch
[ .139. ] America: sucks and messed up
[ .140. ] water: scary
[ .141. ] volcano: hot
[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: both
[ .144. ] rock or R&B: rock
[ .145. ] rock or metal: rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: pop
[ .147. ] rap or R&B: rap
[ .148. ] rap or metal: rap
[ .149. ] pop or R&B: pop
[ .150. ] pop or metal: pop
[ .151. ] R&B or metal: metal
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: linkin park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: this one makes no sense
[ .154. ] Selena or Jennifer Lopez: j lo
[ .155. ] hot or cold: cold
[ .156. ] winter or summer: depends my temperature at the time
[ .157. ] spring or fall: spring
[ .158. ] shakira or Britney: Britney
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: idk, who is icp , and I don’t care for eminem much either
[ .160. ] Marilyn Manson or rob zombie: don’t like either
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: ? What kind of messed of question is that
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: both
[ .163. ] Buffy or angel: Buffy
[ .164. ] Dawson’s creek or Gilmore girls: they both suck, but if I had to choose, Gilmore girls
[ .165. ] football or basketball: ewwww, neither!                                                                                                           [ .166. ] Summer Olympics or winter Olympics: I don’t care
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: skiing
[ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: rollerblading
[ .169. ] black or white: white
[ .170. ] orange or red: red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: purple
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: ……wft is that
[ .174. ] hot topic or Pac sun: Pac sun
[ .175. ] inside or outside: inside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: neither please
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: pen
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or Charlie’s angels: Charlie’s
[ .180. ] Scooby doo or dino: Scooby doo
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: pokemon, lol
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: starwars all the way!
[ .183. ] Tattoos or piercing: piercing
[ .184. ] prep or punk: good god, neither!!!
[ .185. ] Slut or whore: neither!!!
P R i V A T E L i F E
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: nope
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: maybe
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: no
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: yes
[ .190. ] how many people have you liked: alot
[ .191. ] who was your first crush: umm, 4^th grade, some guy names mark I thin but he was an asshole
[ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: idk, not many I guess
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: a few
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: “a swirling portrait of torrent, tears and joy”
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: he’s very respecting and kind
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: yup
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: um,no
[.198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: ….duh
[ .199. ] please post it if you do: no
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: both
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: yes
[ .202. ] are you still friends: yes
[ .203. ] so moving along..do you smoke: no
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no
[ .206. ] how about a little x: I want some, but no that’s alrite, I’ll do without
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: no
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: yes, I’ve had beer, taste like crap
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: I’ve had wine
[ .210. ] do you like Smirnoff ice: …..Wtf
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: not really either
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: look above
[ .213. ] have you ever drank Hpnotiq: no
[ .214. ] if yes, when was the last time you got some: above question please
W 0 U L D Y 0 U EVER..
[ .215. ] bungee jump: no
[ .216. ] sky dive: no
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: yes
[ .218. ] scuba dive: yes
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: maybe
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: no
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: maybe
[ .223. ] cross-dress: yup
[ .224. ] lie to the police: no
[ .225. ] run from the police: no
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: yup
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: no
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: no
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: no
[ .230. ] streak: maybe
Y 0 U R F R I E N D S
[ .231. ] best friends: Carrie, Rachel, Liz, Sarah, Melissa
[ .232. ] known longest: Sarah, Liz
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: umm, my cousin grace and my sort of crush
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: good men
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: a lot I guess
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: Rachel
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: Sarah, Liz, Carrie, and Melissa, and Ben and Amy
[ .238. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': no
[ .239. ] craziest: Chris w. or Chris m.
[ .240. ] loudest: cousin becca
[ .241. ] shyest: Carrie and Amy and heather
[ .242. ] best hair: Rachel
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: all my friends
[ .244. ] best eyes: Chris w.
[ .243. ] best body: hehe, my crush
[ .246. ] most athletic: Chris w.
[ .247. ] sex symbol: …..idk
[ .248. ] hot tempered: Chris w. and crystal
[ .249. ] most impatient: crystal
[ .250. ] shortest: Carrie
[ .251. ] tallest: Chris w.
[ .252. ] talented: Liz, Cait
[ .253. ] best singer: nobody
[ .254. ] skinniest: Melissa

[ .255. ] Nicest: Carrie, Cait
[ .256. ] best personality: Cait
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: nobody

HAVE Y0U EVER:
[ .258. ] flashed someone: kind of
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: yup
[ .260. ] been to Michigan: yup
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: nope
[ .263. ] skateboarded: nope
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: nope
[ .265. ] stolen anything: yup
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: its alrite
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass: not really
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: yup
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: yup
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: nope
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: yup, once
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip: yup
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: nope
[ .275. ] been to a concert: yup
[ .276. ] been to another country: nope
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: yup
[ .278. ] got pulled over: nope

[ .279. ] got in a car accident: nope

[ .280. ] Broke a law: yup
[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: nope
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: yup
[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: yup
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: nope
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: nope
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it any: yup
0 P I N I 0 N S
[ .287. ] what do you think...about pop music: great
[ .288. ] about boy bands: ok
[ .289. ] about flag burning: idk, don’t care
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: very very very horrible, humans suck

[ .291. ] About suicide: very horrible, but useful
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: umm, ok I guess, or dumbasses
[ .293. ] about abortion: very wrong indeed!!
[ .294. ] About rock/metal music: its ok
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: idk, hopefully rich and married and good looking
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: in college and having met my true love
W H A T D I D Y 0 0 H D 0
[ .297. ] last birthday: umm, not much
[ .298. ] yesterday: idk, went to skool and dance class
[ .299. ] last weekend: shopping

[ .300. ] Christmas: fun stuff
[ .301. ] thanksgiving: idk, ate
[ .302. ] new year's: nothing
[ .303. ] Halloween: umm, idk
[ .304. ] Easter: how the hell should I know what happened last year and this years didn’t pass yet
[ .305. ] valentine's day: didn’t come yet
T H E L A S T
[ .306. ] thing you ate: candy
[ .307. ] thing you drank: juice
[ .308. ] thing you wore: red checkered pants, with a light blue beach shirt with a faded, color blue hoodie
[ .309. ] place you went: skool
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: ear
[ .311. ] person you saw: mom
[ .312. ] person you kissed: no one
[ .313. ] person you fxcked: I wish, but no one
[ .314. ] person you talked to: Liz
[ .315. ] song you heard: mad about you by sting
[ .316. ] what are you eating: nothing
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: nothing
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: clothes
[ .319. ] any shoes on: yea
[ .320. ] hat: no
[ .321. ] listening to: the silence
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: no
[ .323. ] are you pissed i made this so long: yea, cause I feel really sick rite now
Y or N
[ .324. ] are you a vegetarian: no
[ .325. ] do you like cows: they’re ok
[ .326. ] are you a bxtch: sometimes
[ .327. ] are you artistic: in dancing and writing
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: yup
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: sometimes
[ .330. ] can you ski: no
[ .331. ] are you British: no, I wish
[ .332. ] do you want to spear Britney: no, she’s ok to me
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: no
[ .334. ] did you ever give Barbie a haircut: yup
[ .335. ] would you eat Mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: eww, no
[ .336. ] do you think Disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland: don’t care, I like the movie
[ .337. ] are you straight: yea
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: I can be stupid and insane sometimes
[ .339. ] are you nice: I’m a good person
[ .340. ] are you naughty: sometimes
[ .341. ] are you short: average height
[ .342. ] are you tall: no
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: yup
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: no
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkeys: yup, sure, I love monkeys
[ .346. ] are you evil : no
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: nope

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 21:06:52 GMT

ugh, this day just got kinda depressing again, alot of my days have been that way, damn. I got my same reasons as usual why i feel down, but the only thing thats not as bad is what i did a a couple of days ago, thats calming down for me, now, but it still stings when i think back...

but anyway, i'm down again about myself and my grams, shes so mean and depressing, well, its more like shes depressed and she turns it into bitchyness, argh!well, i'm home alone rite now, good, i lov when i am, don't have to deal with orders to do this or that or any fucking crap from either of those 2 evil mistresses in my house. i'm blasting mucis rite now, hehe, gotta luv it.

i've got to excercise today again, i've been doing it every other day along with my damn class, that helps and ita fun, i work on mostly my hips and stomach they're the most out of shape,i sometimes work on my legs, ugh, oh well.

omgosh, i typed this like, reallllly long e-mail to my one grams out in like, chicago or whereever she lives, and it took me forever to type, and well shes kinda cynial,and she says she didn't get it, omg, it so went to her shes just blind,ugh!

i'm so pissed at this one guy, who gave me a painful bruise on my bad arm, the bad arm with joint and muscle problems but no one seems to fet it that its painful for me, for him to keep hitting me in the arm like that and i keep tellnig him to stop it damnit!!! but no!

and i've almost gotten groped like 2 times in school,omg, i'm so getting those ppl arrested!,grrrrrrr!!!

but, briteside emmas party is tomorrow and my mom is buying me peppermint patties today, yummy!

take him down!

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 20:19:42 GMT

ok, first of all, let me just say, i'm confused and stressed.

my day started off sooooooooooooo bad, horrible and depressing, the day kinda stayed that way. I had gotten exam grades not, they're are ok, some i'm a little dissapointed, but i'll settle for now, and i was fucking loaded with hw out of my mind, a one page paper typed, 20 defs, 30 math problems it seems, and gotta find one female scientist for bio by tomorrow. I'm more confused over my self regret on summin i did, and for making my mom feel so bad and more stressed then she already is. i totally regret what i did, and i'm sorry about it, and i won't ever do it again, i'm not proud or pleased with it, and i'm NOT GONNA DO IT AGAIN, but ya kno some ppl just don't get it, they wanna keeping picking at it till it exploded or makes me explode. these freakin quacks who think, " do you wanna talk about it?" GREAT FLIPPIN MONKEYS, I SAID NO! i'm ok, i'm not a headcase, i made a mistake, one i wish i could take back, but no, they still think you have some unresolved issues, omg, go fucking drown yourself....i'm sry, i'm here ranting about shit none of you kno about, i'm just trying to say it to summin without screaming it out loud. i'll stop now.

well, anyway, i'm so glad emmas party is one for saturday, i need to get away from home and everyone and just go hang with some ppl my age who are friends and have a better understanding of what i nite be going thru, of which i don't need adults to help me with!!!!.

ok, its all semi-good rite now, i'm alone, in a room, to myself, wish i had a friend here, but i'll settle with this, ok i'm outtie now, byezz ya'll

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 00:19:01 GMT

ugh, i am distgusted, first of all by this lj, its always giving me fucking problems damnit!!! and today is not a good day for me, i have been taping into my rage all day and taking it out on anyone i see or talk to, so this damn lj does not make it any better!!!!!

these few days have not been going good at all, omg, idk why either, i've just been so upset, at everything, and everyone. and my mom tried apologizing to me about her behavior, w/e on that, she still gonna do it all over again

omg, i don't want to go back to school tomorrow, and see all those rotten ppl, argh, i feel so depressed now, argh

i'm outtie

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 04:58:55 GMT

i've been thinking on what to do after highschool. this is my 2nd post for tonite, i just forgot to add this part, its more like i'm writing this down for me.

I think after highschool i'm gonna get my job as a cosmotalolgist and save up the money to go to england or ireland, i might move there for a couple of years and get a job of a cosmo there. i looked up on that online,looks good, good pay. i could possibly meet someone there to fall in love with and maybe even decide to live there and forget everyone back in america and start my life over somewhere far away where no one knows me. i might go to ireland, love the place and the accents, and its the place where it runs most in my blood line/family, i'll feel like i'm me, completely me.

but, then i might get a job then there as maybe an actress or a teacher, yea, i really like that. i'll bring a friend with me, or if i have one, a husband or bf with me. but yup, save up the money with in a 1 or 2 and ill be on my way to ireland or england, cant decide which yet.

i'm sry i just had to get all that out. it was like an ephaniy, like a mind set, heheh, i'm all giddy now,lol

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 03:41:30 GMT

man, i'm so lucky that i got off for 2 days from school for not having 7th period exam, hehe. i give sympathy to those who have togo in.......*giggle* not really

i went to go see Series of Unfortunate Events tonite, it was an awesome movie, i realllllly liked it, i loved the plot , the costumes, the whole look to it, it also moved me too, lol. i went with my friend cait, and her other friends from easton, i think, bonnie, elise, and another name i can't spell, but if i could, i would. They were all really cool and nice and funny

I have been so depressed for a few days cause of my mom. she thinks her whole life is in ruins and that she should die and all this shit. shes always like that and she blames all her problems for it, i have just as many or more, and i'm one of the problems for her, why doesn't she just get rid of me that bitch! the only one of my family i can handle rite now is my grams and brother, i hate my mom, she ruins everything, shes the main reason i'm so depressed, but if i told her that, it would kill her cause shes so fucking dramtic!

In a few weeks i'm going for my drivers permit, ugh, to annoyed over the whole shitty thing.

i've printed out a whole bunch of pics of my fav most hottie ever hayden christensen ~swoon~ i printed out like 20, lol and put them all over my wall, and some of natalie portman, those to are my fav actor and actress.

anywayz, not much more to say, except, hmmm, i hate my mom some more, and yea thats about it, i swear when i move out i'm gonna need therapy, argh, look at that, my eye's already twitching *twitch twitch* hehe

ok much luv, peace out dumbasses

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 21:35:03 GMT

ok, just ignore that last entry.

I haven't been able to post an enrty for some reasom, summin was wrong. idk what tho.

But, anyways, its snowing and now i have no life this weekend. i really wanted to go over emmas house, but, that dan snow, gosh. But on the brightside, i have off monday from school, and i'm done with my exams and i got no hw! yaya for me. hehe

116 days till Revenge of the Sith, i'm so happy, i can't wait to see it, i'm gonna be one of the 1st in line when it does come out.

i've been opsessed with This is how we do it song, omg, i just, like discovered it now, its the bomb.

last nite i went to my homeslice, carries grandparents house,and to the mall rite after school it was awesome.Almost lost a purse and ran a mile for it and lost 10 lbs, got a new cd, got 2 friendship necklaces, and went on the comp talking to all these ppl in the basement all rest of the afternoon and nite, and watched the blair witch project and we re-inacted Jack's death scene in Titanic in her grandda's car cause it was so cold, lol. and then i left around 8tish, great time man!

i'm very cold and i feel angry yet not, idk what to feel, i feel complicated, like i need to be angry at summin, but i kno i am, but at the same time, i don't kno what i'm angry at. its more like i need someone to mad at. maybe the fact i'm stressed sorta about college and what i want to be, and about school switching issues, and some friends of mine, and my weight, and my exams i just took, argh! and and and, * frustarated sigh* idk

ok, i'm gonna try to stay calm and sort it out with a certain someone i can talk to

anyway, i'm bored now, and cold still, and i have to go do a chore, eww.

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 21:07:53 GMT

This is a test * beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* *beeeep* *beep*

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 06:12:20 GMT

Haven't made an entry for a while so here goes...

omg, exams for school are this week, and i'm so not looking forward to them. lol, wow thats all thats been happening, nm has happened. This weekend blowed ass majorly. I've been getting hyped for Starwars 3 coming out in may, argh so far away, but my hopes are high. I'll just keep myself busy by looking at sexy pics of hayden christensen, ~swoon~

anyway, ND only has half days all this week cause of exams, man i hope jen is gonna be in school for those 2 days shes taking me home, or i'll have to pull some miracle our my ass to get home. cause i don't want to take the easton bus for which i don't kno is even coming at 11ish, argh.

This lj thing was down for like and day and a half as far as i could tell, and it screwed me all up trying to get onto and into my lj, it kept telling me my password was wrong.

i got to watch Just Married for like the 10th time again, i LOVE that movie, it is soooooo funny!! my bff also told me how she went to find this actting job but she turned it down cause of some scam, that bites, and emmas very b-lated party is this saturday,lol, i think i kno what to get. or i mite already have it, so i'll just give it to her,lol. i got to talk for the 1st time on the phone with corinne, shes alot calmer and diff on the phone,interesting, hmm. anyhoos

Ok g2g, i did this like 1 am in the morning, but i'll leave a little summin,

Dying Day

Todays the day the dreaming ends

but they must keep moving on.

While her soul burns deep with ache

and a confussed heart breaks.

Does anyone know what we're living for?

This is my home, the underworld,

my pouring rain.

Bodies of lies and truths carries us apart,

while a sly smile is kept on. For saddness and pain cannot be

acknowlged.

Your jealousy makes it harder, and this life is for me, but not for us.

Now our red light will go out, and our soulds are opposite, but

our love is connected. You must live on, and tell a story.

A past so bright, but a future so bleak and dead, but there was a hold so dear.

They all must know, our life is for all a stage. But we know it was our beloved seceret.

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 01:59:47 GMT

ok, gonna make it quick and short.

theres the ususally ok, good and bad shit with school. umm, i'm very cold and i don't want to school tomorrow but i do at the same time, ummm, i have exams next week, ewwww. In my dance class we'ves started on our dance show, its cool, its benji's b-day tomorrow, sweet 16!!

Umm, i saw white noise the past weekend with emma, and i'm still a little creeped out about the movie, hehe, silly me. Oh ya, i never got to say it, happy belated b-day emma!!

um, i'm happy, i got rides home for all of exam week, with jen twice, niehbors ince and going home with c dawg friday and maybe to shopping, that ought to be the bomb, hehe.

I'm on this horrible diet, and trust me, its so hard to loose weight! grrrrrr, i love food, tho i'm not like obese, or anything, its just i have some extra fat i don't nee, argh!

ok thats all for now, i'll put a poem or song in my next entry, ok, luv all, bye

keep it uncool dumbasses!

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 20:45:53 GMT

Well, this weekend mite just be one of the worst weekend yet tis year, boy, what a way to start off the new year; with TONS OF HW.

ARGH, i have 100 question to make and 2 popers to wrtie my thursday, but the questions are due monday. On the bright side, i get to go to the mall and have a little b-day party. I still have aot buy a bift for ben.

I couldn't see in that yellow to well, anyway. i want to see White Noise, but everyone is too scared to see it, bunch of whimps, hehe, it will scare the crap out of me, cause i'm terrified about the whole ghost therory, thats why i try not to pay attention to ghost stories, but i want to scare myself this time,lol.

Decided to keep changing my colors and word style. i found this really cooooool song by Nightwish called i wish i had an angel, its a rock/metal song. hehe

Omg, my ex friend rachel is the most messed up person to know. Idk what her damage is, but we are so not friends anymore, she wrote it in a letter to me,...like i give an flying fucking monkeys. She thinks i always make fun of her cause she has adhad or add, i NEVER HAVE, idk where the hell she got that from and she thinks i feel embaresset with her around and that i make her look stupid in front of my other friends. i told them all about what she said and they even said i never have. I'm not like that, i don't make fun of my friends in a mean way or on any problems or disabilites they mite have, i'm nice!!! god!

anyway, on with life and not with her, that chapter with her is closed, and i don't care, being friends with her was confusing and wacked, i rather be stuck in a room with chris for a week then her, ok i'm done.

heres the lyrics to Nightwish

Nightwish - Wish I had an angel

I wish I had an angel for one moment of love
I wish II wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight

Deep into a dying day
I took a step outside
An innocent heart
Prepare to hate me for when I may
This night will hurt you like never before
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder

had your angel, your words of Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight

I'm going down so frail and cruel
Drunken disguise changes all the rules
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder

Greatest thrill
Not to kill
But to have the prize of the night
Hypocrite
Wannabe friend
13th disciple who betrayed me for nothing!
Last dance, first kiss
Your touch, my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts

I wish I had an angel
I wish I had an angel
I wish I had an angel!
I wish I had an angel!

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 22:50:46 GMT

damnit, i'm so stressed out!!!!

I have so much going on in the next 2 weeks its not even funny; exams, gotta find a ride home from school for 4 days, gotta make up 145 questions by monday, and by a b-day gift for ben, and to top that all off, its my b-day tomorrow, i'm gonna be 16, boy i gonna just see how its all gonna go-shitty, i have no happiness for my b-day at all!!

Anyway, theres suppose to be this nasty ice storm for the next 2 days, yea rite, i doubt there will be all cancellations or delays, its my luck, cause i don't want school, and i need for time home to work on those questions for damn bio, man i could kill rite now, either myself or someone

my life sucks so bad, i'm fat, stupid and ugly, i swear i am!, and my major problem is also included, but i won't say

don't mind me, i'm gonna go slit my wrists rite now

"fire at will"- sarah, lol

damn the school!!!

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 02:56:25 GMT

damn, another christmas season pissed away

i realllly don't want to go back to school and see all those rotten faces again, the ppl there really are trippin. The is not enough vacation for me to actually want to be around them for weeks again. a few ppl i want to see, only like 5 ppl that i want to see, the other 10 i'm really are hatein' rite now and i don't want to walk down to that bus stop and see those annoying ppl again with crystal, argh!!! I'm thinking of wanting to go to easton but i may not have a choice...i kno liz might not be there anymore since she will be moving ~tear, sob~ my bff!!

But today some family came over, grace, mary, becca and sam, man can it get loud and mean when they're all over, my bro tris and my other coz kevin were gonna but couldn't, 10 hrs of all of them can really kill you.

This coming wesenday is my sweet 16, argh, i don't look forward to it, i can't help it, but i just don't, i'm already depressed and i 'm thinking about someone i hate rite now...

~sigh~ not much more to say except tomorrow is sunday and i have chores to do, eww, tomorrow is really gonna suck. Tonite tho, full metal alchemist comes on, along with Inu Yasha, and will and grace, yay

Forbiddin Reality

We can ride, into the nite

holding hands while we cry.

We'll break our bones to stay here,

hoping there is no human to stop us

we need this prescious nite.

Our star fades away

the ground beneath us rocks,

our feet will carry us away,

thru the cold air

The water freezes us over,

the trees block their sight,

the moon hangs in the blanace

above our shining tears.

Stripped of our youth and innocence!

We run, out to the fields and fireflies.

bear our souls, making promises, and chained forever,

yet to only have it taken away.

But, my love, my truth, my angst,... it's our forbiddin reality

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 22:24:37 GMT

Thought i would just make it sweet with 3 of my fav christmas songs....

Carol of the Bells

Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, "throw cares away."
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song,
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home
Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, "throw cares away."
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling.
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home.
Ding dong ding dong

The First Noel

The First Noel, the Angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night that was so deep.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the East beyond them far
And to the earth it gave great light
And so it continued both day and night.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

And by the light of that same star
Three Wise men came from country far
To seek for a King was their intent
And to follow the star wherever it went.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

This star drew nigh to the northwest
O'er Bethlehem it took its rest
And there it did both Pause and stay
Right o'er the place where Jesus lay.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Then entered in those Wise men three
Full reverently upon their knee
And offered there in His presence
Their gold and myrrh and frankincense.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Oh Holy Night

The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
aah...oooh
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
The thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night...divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh holy night
Oh night divine
Oh holy night
Oh night divine

The thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night...divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine

Oh holy night
Oh night divine

Oh holy night when Christ was born
holy night when Christ was born

Sleep tight and Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 21:30:48 GMT

ok, not much to say again. just one more day till school lets out, thank god!

i feel kinda happy, but at the same time, i feel depressed when i think about how when it all ends, we have to go back to regualr jobs and work, eww.

this week ok, i got a ride to school all week, fought with chris, got really pissed and angry at a few ppl, and did some writing to calm me down and then today i just found out that the 6th harry potter book comes out july 16 2005, so that made me super crazy happy!!, yay.

Umm, on x-mas i'm going to my brothers and then for 2 days my fav cosins and aunts are coming, yay again

i hope that rich aunt of mine comes up, man oh man, my grams side of the family is like so rich it seems, or is it just me,lol, oh well, or maybe i'm just poor,lol/

ok i'm gone now

A special little summin by me, idk how i came up with it, it just came pouring out of my head like a waterfall

Now give me more, make me scream, make me cry an ocean, give me eternal thoughts, give my tears back, laught at me, and bleed me dry, make me wild, but give me calm. drink me up like everlasting wine, make me up like a dream, take me to your eyes, feel me with humanity. surprise me wonder, heal my cuts and sweep away my bruises. wrap my heart like angel wings, free me from my soul, bring up like your divine, but don't steal my mind from me. make your self strong like a heart beating, give yourself endlessly, hold your head back and cry like there are none left. do not be afarid, make me close to you, i will be there, i'm your mutual lookout, i'm your dove, i'm a thunderstorm to you that never ends. make me love you, but yet send my seething to your face. Now take my hand, and write out your life to me as i

I think i will call it.....ummm, Deep Fleeting, i know, it makes no sense,but hey, it does to me

ok, i'll shutup now

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:00:02 GMT

well, not much to say, just very bored for the past few days. I can't wait till christmas, i love getting things, tho i still have pride in giving too.

I got to watch Titanic this past weekend, it made me cry, i LOVE THAT MOVIE, i hadn't seen it in a while,the romance in it is just so wonderful! the 2nd half of the movie is so tense and overwhelming, and just looking at them made me cold, even under my warm blankets,lol.

I also got to go to that Easton dance, it was so so so much fun, i thought it would be horrible too. i got to hang out with liz, sarah, andrew and kevin and corinne on and off,lol. I danced for like 2 hrs straight almost, my legs now on monday are still sore, wow, and the dance was saturday.

i think i like someone now, but i gotta talk to liz about it, she knows him the best, hes so nice and funny, ~sigh~

anyway, i can't wait to get out of school, argh, school sucks, and so do boys, well the ones i mostly know, well, the majority of them i know suck!

I'm stressed about my next year of school, i'm gonna be in tennis, two dance classes and Votec, and i want to do all of them, but its already bugging me on how i'm gonna do all this, cause there is also school work too, ugh!

I'm sorta depressed too about one MAJOR thing thats been on my mind for sometime now, its really sad for me and it makes me really angry and with a passion of hate too, but no one cares, but i never really share it with anyone, only my mom, and anyone i tell just blows me off

i hate myself sometimes, along with a few other people

anyway, i'm outty

Now give the world to me, and i'll give my heart to you in return

I want you to touch me, and show me, and give to me what you feel

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 20:29:29 GMT

man, life bites, as many thousands of other people before now and after me will think too. But i can get put into the Life section noted; Complicated, Annoying and Stressful. There are so many things rite now i really don't want to do, but it seems like i have to.

1st is my chris problem, he is so mean and wild, and the next moment hes nice, idk what to do with him, i hate him, then i don't mind him, and then hes my friend and then back to i hate him, argh!! shit

2nd is there are 2 dances, my school dance and eastons school dance whos isn't mine. My friend liz wants to go to both, she going to easton, cause she goes there, but she demanding we go to my school dance on friday and hers is on saturday. i have no dress first of all for either! and i'm stressed about the easton one. if i go with liz to the easton one, we're going with friends, but i'm afarid of them all walking off on me, they all go to easton. then theres my school dance, a x-mas dance, i might, but still no dress, maybe i could get one from liz, hmmm...argh!! shit again

3rd im pissed cause of the short amount of vacation time for x-mas, only a week, last year and the years before it was like 2 weeks, argh!! shit again

4th i'm so mad at one of my ex bff rachel, she just doesn't know when to grow up, and stop being so wild and mean! we us to really be good friends, idk what happened, but i heard my mom and her mom talking and rachel ususally loses friends by being this way, well she might just lose me, argh! damn her

5th i'm very frustarted with alot of little things, to many to name, i can't wait to get out of HS and into the world and away from these same banged up people i see everyday!

6th i should write a story, but i'm trying so hard to come up with something no bodys thought of yet! argh, i guess i'll write a little sommin now;

Grey Life;

mismatched, holding hands,
giving flowers, sorry to you...
to you for being to forever follow me
on this brown path down the road
away form the city.

Away from them, and havoc;
rain is flowing hard, the fields sway with the wind,
the air cold and light,and you and i dance.

Dance our spirits away, dance till out hearts bleed.
take our shoes off, close eyes, and fall back and look at a sky.
A grey sky, grey from the clouds and fog floating in the air, from pain, yet joy.Confused and we laugh at it!
Laugh at nothing, laugh for being stupid, or pretty, or clumsy.

Take my breath away with a kiss, and never forget our grey life together
just the of us two, full of secrets and lies.

eh

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 20:05:16 GMT

whoa, my day went well in a long while, except for that one burn spot when i got my math test back. But i have 2 more tests before the end of the quater, ugh,i suck at math.

Right now i'm on a diet. like every year i try to go on a diet, and i fail after 2 days, i won't do that again, i promise myself. Its been 4 days now, and i'm doing good. Low cal. foods and only 3 meals a day. and i excercise to, and take dance, so i should lose weight, and trust me i NEED TO.

I got my classes changed and finally i'm out of that banged up bio class i was in. I 'm in a different bio with chris and theo with chris, i think i'm seeing to much of him, cuase everytime i see him, he gives me crap, or teases me or just really doing all sorts of stuff to me in class, cause he sits behind me, argh!and i gained one class with joe, ugh, hes so lazy and only talks to you when he wants or needs summin, sometimes, he has a cizvilized convo with me, but not much; i miss carrie and mel~boohoo~ ~sob~

Chris wanted me to go to this pro life reteat with him, but the forms are suppose to go in tomorrow with 30 dollars, yea rite! i just find this out now, but to bad, i was looking forward to getting 2 days off from school later on in the year,poo. i told him i don't have 30 dollars to give in rite away, and he said he would give it to me, i was like, yea rite, and he said he would, just pay him back later, or before the end of the year,....watever.Rachel is mad at me now, cause i rather sit with chris in theo, her and i have been having some problems i have to call her and sort this out, shes dragging on my last nerve sometimes...brigid thinks its empty without me in her theo, hmm. Ben hasn't even noticed, lol.

In the summer, i'm joining some school for the arts,i really want to, my mom is gonna find somewhere for me. Not sure when, but i am ,yay. i'm gonna take dance, and actting, and photography, music, and writing. i don't care if i have to stay over nite, i want to do this. so that means i gotta get back to my guitar,lol. i haven't done it in a while. i sometimes wonder if i should have given up piano,hmmm...but i love writing, and i was always kinda interested in photography. and one day i wanna be in a movie, wishful thinking, hehe. omg, everyday, i'm paranoid, cause i keep thinking i'm gonna die from some fatal accident, oh no, ugh!!!

I feel ike saying i luv you to all my fiends (ppl that are close to me rite now tho, cause those are the best type of friends, one you talk to all the time and share stuff with, and get along and just feel like bros or sis to)
Lets see, Carrie, Mel, Ben, Chris, Brigid, Liz, and Emma ugh, this feels stupid saying that name you!and you kno who i'm talkin' to,Cait, allison and heather, my little group homies, you three remind me of summin out of a book, lol, but its good tho!i guess i should say rachel, cause she was my first friend at ND from last year, but we're in rut right now, ugh, but shes a bff, now i have 3 bffs, hehe, well a few more i guess now.

later for now

Bring it back baby,bring it back- fresh prince of bel-air, lol

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 22:50:12 GMT

well,my day went stressing and annoying. I just got to talk to mrs fenton , my bio teacher to raise me up to higher bio class. Well, that means i have to change my 3rd and 8th classes. i would have general bio in 3rd, and theo in 8th. But theres major sucking problem as usual!I f i do that, i will leave my ONLY class with carrie and melissa, and that fucking blows! But then i gain to classes with chris, i haven't gotten to have class with him for a long time, and i want this, cause also my so good friend rachel is in theo 8th period too, and so is my friend mia.

But then today, i have 2 choices, i could change my 3rd and 8th periods, or change a whole other classes, and then get 3 and 4 periods with carrie, annd with rachel and melissa and a whole other classes, but changing all those classes is a pain in my ass, and i still wouldn't have any classes with chris and mia and i would also have 2 classes with mia if i just change my 2 classes. This is horrible, i love all my friend and i want them all in my classes, but i guess, i can't get everything i want. My mom told me to go with the simpliest change...

I don't want any of my friends mad at me, cause i think carrie seemed a little annoyed with me today before hr, it just seemed liked it a little, i don't want her or anybody mad at me!!

Life is like toilent, theres always shit everyday

hidieho

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 20:09:42 GMT

Boy, my turkey vacation has gone pretty well, thats cool!

Yesterday, my cousins came over again, and as usual it got hectic. Becca wanted to watch harry potter 3, and we did, but she kept talking and screaming the whole time, at the end of the movie shes like, what happend?, ugh.
Then sam, bec and i walked down to the Eckerds, for candy, and then came back and faught some more. Grace of couse was her usual funny self,lol and mary.

I still have to finish x-mas shopping for ppl, crap, i still have atleast 7 people left, ugh.

Anyway, i'm not looking forward to going back to school on tuesday, i love vacation time.I like seeing friends, but a few people right now i still don't feel like talking to or looking at, just kinda tried of it, i rather see people outside of school.

But rite now, im very bored, so i'll go mourn in my self pity, ~sobs~

"over and over again"

AHHHHHH! YAY!

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 03:00:45 GMT

holy mother fucker! did my thanksgiving day go fucking awesome!!!!!!

The whole lot of my family was here! I loved it, my fav cousins came over, grace, kevin, sam, becca, tracy omg, they're sooo great , i love, love, love, them all! my aunts, margert and mary came over too, i love them 2.
It gets SO loud when they come over, the whole house gets like, destroyed and you can't heat yourself think. My cousin sam, whos 4 is just so bad, yet sweet, and cute, ans becca whos 11, is the most horrible violent loud and rude little witch you have ever ment, but shes great, i love her, my cousin grace whos 24 whos acts like my age, shes so ghetto,lol, is just the best cousin in the world, shes so crazy, shes a best friend and sister to me 2! Kevin whos 30, yet acts like hes 16 is just someone you gotta love, so laid bak and calm, but can really defend you, then turn around and laugh at you, hehe.
My room looks like an atomic bomb blew up in it from becca and sam, and from all three of us jumping on my bed, it broke, lol, oh well. It got so bad in the tv room, everyone was in there, and it was physcotic in there.

we are the most desoriented family you could ever know, but its great, i can totally be myself around them.
So much shit went on from 1pm to 9pm, it was scary, when they come over, its like a wild party, my mom goes all stern and crazy from it, part poopper! lol
But now they all left, we saud our love, hugs, and goodbyes, and i'll see them all again saturday,lol, yay! i love being wild and foul mouthed,lol

Tomorrow, i'm going black friday shopping, yay

p.s. omg, everyone kept, laughing at my hair, well mostly kevin, he mostly kept calling me a witch,lol, i just hit him telling to fuck off. I got so many punches and hits today, its not even funny. i also got to have some personal convos with my cousins about some ppl that are really getting on my nerves, with all sorts of crap, like boys, wicca, and some ppl that i hate, and they really help me with it all, they totally agreed with me on all of it, and they told me to fuck them all, you don't need those mother fuckers, you have us to ruin your life,lol.